Me as Writer

So far I have been writing from the view of the sentimental mother. Not today. Today is better than yesterday however. Thank goodness. I was easily irritated and especially hard on myself yesterday. Unfortunately some of the frustration I felt yesterday is spilling over to today.

So I want to be a writer. I always have in one way or another, whether I've recognized it or not. And I am finally doing something about it. That's good. I am trying to keep my thoughts organized and my goals simple and managable. That's good. I have not been overwhelmed at all. That's good. Until yesterday. That's bad. There is so much information out there about writing and becoming a writer. At the same time it is challenging to know in what direction to go exactly. This is where positive Me would jump in and say, "It's just part of the journey." But easily irritated Me is saying, "What the hell! Will somebody just tell me what to do next?"

As a mother of two preschoolers and one on the way, I don't have a lot of time in a day when I can scour the Internet for hours on end. Especially in peace. Forget about that. Every day I have to figure out what I can squeeze in to naptime quiet hours. And every day there are more and more things I want to do and less time to do it in. And somedays my pregnany body and overloaded mind needs to take that quiet time to be quiet and rest before it starts over again.

Each day I blindly go with my gut and hope I get at least one step further to getting that first published article. I try not to think about writing books, the ultimate goal, so I don't start freaking out about how hard that will be.

This is what I know: I know I want to be a writer. I know in my heart that it will happen for me. I know I can have this home-based career and still be here for my kids. I know I have a lot more patience now than I've ever had in my life. I am resourceful and smart. I am willing to make changes and improvements to my work as I go and am excited about that process. I know I will continue to have bad days sprinkled in with the good ones. I know God wouldn't give me more than I can handle. I know that much at least.

I need to focus on writer Me saying in my ear, "You can do this. Have faith. This is the perfect career for you. Persevere. If you believe it, you can achieve it." And all the other things I have been telling myself in the back of my mind for years without anyone else knowing it.