Bloggy Hiatus

To all of my beloved bloggy friends, I will be taking a bloggy break until after the baby is born and the holidays are over.

Too much on my plate.

I look forward to chatting with all of you in January!

Love, Tanna

Day 10: Sick and Busy



It's not a good combination to have a cold and be busy. I tried to rest as much as possible. I'm trying to work on our house addition budget - a huge job. I spent all day on it. That on top of not feeling well made for a very grumpy momma.

I went to bed early and then dreamed about sleeping. Now that's tired.

Day 9: Living Room & Hurtful Comments

We made a lot of progress on the house Friday and Saturday, so Eric decided he'd help me rearrange our living room on Sunday. I have been brainstorming ideas for the new layout for the past few weeks, but I can't move anything myself and I wanted to be sure of how I wanted it. We had to make room for a baby swing, and I had no idea where I was going to put the Christmas tree when time comes. I did not like where it was last year. 

The results are much more cozy. There is a spot for everything. I can see bringing baby home and snuggling in this living room. Funny how we picture things like that. 

For lunch we usually go to one of Eric's grandparent's houses on Sundays. They cook every Sunday. Isn't that incredible? I just love that. Anyway, we took a break from rearranging to go eat. I was feeling awesome about everything - the house, the living room, the baby. The kids were being good that day. And then Eric's aunt has to bring me down. 

She asked me how I was feeling. That was nice. Then she proceeded to say about every hurtful thing that you can say to a pregnant woman besides downright calling me fat. She said I looked swollen and miserable. That she was sure I wasn't going to make it 8 more weeks. I said said, "yes, I will. I'm the same size as I was with the other kids." She said that the baby was going to be awfully big then. I said, "No, I don't think so." She just kept going, sinking herself deeper and deeper. 

I know she's been around pregnant people before. I can't imagine they all looked the same or that they all were teeny tiny at 8 months. If it weren't for my good mood that morning I would have either cried or hit her. But I took it well, finished lunch and excused us so we could go back home and work on the living room. 

 I'm over people thinking that all pregnant people look the same or whatever it is that they think. Whatever it is, they should keep it too themselves. I appreciate honesty, most of the time. In my current hormonal state, I'd rather be lied to if you really think I look horrible.

Well, my new living room is exciting.

Day 8: My Fun Saturday

On Saturday I had a day with the family. It was great. Gabby and I went garage-saling and to the Apple Fest. We came home and rested. That was great too. Saturday evening after Eric was done working on the house, we went out to dinner with Mamaw and Papaw. 

Days 6 & 7: Mental Prep for C-Section & Tubal

The past couple of days I have been thinking a lot about how this pregnancy will end. I will have a new lovey, squishy baby which I am so excited about, but I will also have a major surgery to recover from and permenant birth control to come to grips with. 

Part I: C-Section Prep

As first time parents in 2006, we took the baby classes and read all of the most recommended books. In class I tuned out the parts on c-sections; I always skipped over those same parts in the books. "That doesn't apply to me," I thought. I just didn't think I needed to learn even the basics about any of that. It wasn't how I was going to have my babies, so why bother?

Day 5: House Addition/Bean's Room

Ok now, I told myself I wouldn't get behind and then I did. I'm catching up today.

I have been almost completely consumed with our house addition lately. So much so that it is hard to focus just on baby. So I'm glad I have this 31 Days challenge to force me to take a moment and think about Baby Bean.

The house addition and the baby do in some ways go hand in hand. We love our little house and we would have outgrown it soon anyway, but with baby coming, it makes it a bit more urgent to carve out some more living space for us. Recap: me, my husband, my almost 5 year old and my 3 year old share one tiny bathroom. I always manage to hit my elbow on the door every time I walk through it. We also have 2 inside dogs. We currently have 2 bedrooms - the kiddos share the bigger room. Our "master" has a closet the size of, well, tiny.

We are making our little square house into an "L" shape adding a 2-car garage, laundry/mudroom, hallway, 3rd kid bedroom and a master bedroom and bath. It's a huge undertaking! But when we do, we do it up. We really do want to stay here forever. It's in a great location - close to family and friends, a solid house, has history (which we love) and a beautiful yard. Not to mention, it was an awesome price. It was just a little small, so we're working on that. We have no idea when it will be done (if ever, knowing me).

I've been thinking all along that Bean will eventually bunk up with big brother, Jude, but now I am rethinking. I wanted to use the extra bedroom for office space for me and a guest room, but the kids will probably want their own room as they grow older. And if we have the rooms, we might as well plan on that now. Back when we wanted to have 5 kids, I had no problem with the idea of them rooming together. Now I like the idea of them having their own space. Anyone care to share your thoughts on kids sharing rooms?

Day 4: What Is REALLY Needed for Baby

(Day 4, a day late - my computer was acting up last night when I went to post.)

Babies are tiny. They don't take up much room the first year and their stuff doesn't have to either. After you've had a baby or 2, you realize that you just don't need as much stuff as you got at your first shower. Do you need 15 towels and 23 blankets? My answer: No. Do you really need a crib, bassinet and a pack 'n play? My answer: No. Do you need a baby hair brush & comb? My answer: No. Even if baby has hair, it doesn't get tangled. Just smooth it down or spike it up with your hands.  :)

Day 3: Preggo Check-Up #6

Jude and I went to the doctor today for a baby check. His 3 year-old self had to go to the bathroom when we got there, and I knew I'd have to as well. So it was easiest just to take him in there with me. He looked at me funny when I had to pee in the cup.

"Why you doin that Mommy?" 

"The doctor has to test my pee, Bub."

He accepted that answer and everything was fine again. Ok, I thought, not too weird I guess. I'd rather not have my kids with me in the bathroom any time, but sometimes it's a must. I'm sure he's not traumatized or anything. I draw the line at the kids being in there when doc checks my cervix. Didn't have to do that today, so we were good there.

Day 2: Tired and Achy, Growing a Small Human

Today this baby is whoopin my ass.

I must be adequately doing my job, because he is already big enough now to have stretched my midsection to what seems like the max. All of the skin and muscles seem to be ripping from my ribs, and my belly button has just decided to start tearing like it did with baby 1. That's what it feels like when he's laying still. Then he thinks he might push with his whole back to one side and straighten those little legs and arms. I shift around until I find a comfortable spot. Wait, there isn't one.

I keep thinking how he is developing into the amazing person he is meant to be because I am so tired it's hard to focus on anything but being tired. He is sucking every last ounce of energy I have. And then I have to zombie-like find some energy to get up and take care of the 2 children who are not conveniently in my belly but still very much neep my help doing most things.

The preparation I am doing today does not consist of washing his clothes, putting a baby gadget together or making lists of what we'll need for the hospital. Some day it's about trying to rest my body as much as I can so I can continue to form his.

That is exactly what I plan on doing the rest of the evening.

After I make the kids' dinner.

And get their school things ready for tomorrow.

And take a shower.

Day 1: This Baby is Different

It's a boy...

...and we have less than 10 weeks until his birthday!

Even though we are preparing for baby number 3 at our house, my head is still spinning with all the of things that need to be done to get ready for his arrival. As if that sentence didn't clue you in, I am a planner. Big time. So I suppose it works to my advantage that I have c-section babies. Long story short - I had an emergency c-section with baby 1 and opted to have repeats with baby 2 and this little Bean.

31 Days of Preparing for Baby

Since my last "overwhelmed" post, I have been reading a lot - blogs, twitter, magazines, whatever I can get my hands on. Reading is a big part of writing, and I am a big fan of reading. However, the biggest part of writing is......to write.

I came across a wonderful blog recently http://www.chattingatthesky.com/. Emily over at chatting at the sky had a particularly inspiring post on Sept. 21 called "for 31 days." She is basically challenging anyone and everyone to write about a topic of their choosing every single day in October. Interesting how things just pop into our lives like this.

So I have decided to write about preparing for baby number 3, since a) he will be be here before you know it, b) writing every day will be good practice and c) this will be a great journal to keep. I have started listing my ideas. So come October 1st, I will have a post everyday about how I (we) are getting ready for Bean's arrival and all about this part of this crazy journey. I look forward to sharing and hearing your comments!

*OvErWheLmEd*

I finally got some substantial sleep last night with minimal dreams and no interruptions - well except getting up to go to the bathroom, yay baby on my bladder.

I haven't been sleeping well because I can't shut my mind off. I've always had this problem, but it's been worse here lately. So much has been on my mind, I haven't known what to blog, so I just haven't. Do I write about the new baby or the house addition or the kids being sick or our crazy schedule or my roller coaster of emotions? Or all of the above maybe? UGH.

Usually, I am a fairly organized person. So when I'm in one of these overwhelmed moods, I take a step back, look at all the issues and decide which is the most bothersome. I start hacking away, organizing each thing one by one until I have a plan. The plan is always subject to change. I just like to know this is what's going on with this issue, this is what I'm doing about this, etc. That's what I need to do today I guess.

But all I really want to do is curl up on the couch, maybe have a good cry and watch some TV on this rainy day.

Encouraging Words Sept. 9th

We all need to be reminded of this from time to time.
(Ok, Mommy, stop flipping out on the kids. Have some patience.)

Random Thought Number 5

As I am obsessing over this love essay, seriously letting it consume every moment of every day until it is done, I am thinking a lot of my love for my husband. I wonder how many stares we would get if we had a passionate make-out session in public somewhere? Especially with my protruding belly. Not an extremely racy, grabby kind of make-out session, just a lot of kissing. People don't really ever do that. Why not?

My Latest, Greatest Writing Endeavor

Time got away from me last week. Although I still cannot believe I didn't post anything! I am really not sure why. But I do know why I will probably not have much to post this week and next - I am taking on a new challenge. I am writing a personal essay for Real Simple magazine's 4th Annual Life Lessons Essay Contest. (I just found out about it this weekend and the deadline is Sept. 15th.) The winner gets an awesome prize package but best of all gets to be published in the magazine! I'm so excited.

The topic is "When did you first understand the meaning of love?" The first time I read this question I thought, ooh this is right up my alley - I'm all over this. The more I think about it and try to pull together a cohesive story, the more I realize that this is a very difficult question. I can't say that I had one particular "ah-ha" moment when I feel that I fully understood love. I feel that for me it has been a process, many moments, situations and struggles that have helped me in my journey to understanding love.

So while I try to fit these memories and life experiences into a flowing essay that not only makes sense to the reader but also tells a compelling story, I would love to hear your answer to this question. Or your thoughts on personal essays. Or your thoughts on whatever lovely thing you wish to share with me. :)

Ordinary Days: Encouraging Words Link-Up With Giveaway

Ordinary Days: Encouraging Words Link-Up With Giveaway

Check out Ordinary Sarah's Encouraging Words. While you're there - cruise around her nifty blog about kids and family and all sorts of great stuff!

Encouraging Words for the Week

Laughter is an instant vacation. - Milton Berle
Let's laugh as much as we can this week sillies!

Turned My Frown Upside-Down

I woke up grumpy today and unsure of how I wanted my Saturday to go. I laid around most of the morning, sinking into the entirely depressing book I'm reading at the moment. Needless to say, that did not help my mood or make me optimistic about the day in any way. It is a beautiful, breezy day here in southern Indiana and I eventually talked myself out of wasting most of it.

Here's what I did to boost my mood:

1) Turned off all of the TVs in the house - no disheartening news shows, no completely annoying Ni Hao, Kai-Lan, no movie I've seen a hundred times and really don't need to watch again.

2) Opened the curtains and let more light in the house.

3) Put my iPod on my "Mellow" (but groovy) playlist and cranked it.

4) Laughed and chatted to the kids in the kitchen while I made lunch and cupcakes for tomorrow's birthday party.

5) Started a project I've been meaning to start all week - painting a fancy-framed chalkboard on a small wall in our kitchen. (Still in progress, will post pics when done)

After forcing myself to change the direction of my day, I have turned my mood around entirely and am looking forward to a wonderful evening. What have you done for yourself lately to boost your mood?

Drawing vs. Writing

I have always been good at drawing. And I like to draw, for the most part, I guess. I mostly enjoy drawing people. I challenge myself to really capture their true self in a drawing. And a lot of times I feel like I succeed.


My drawing of my too cute kiddos,
Jude and Gabby



I feel very accomplished and proud most of the time when I finish a drawing. It's the process of completing and sometimes even starting that I struggle with. I push myself to want to work on drawings or paintings. I have argued with myself for many years. Should I pursue art further? Should I have studied more specialized art in college? Why am I even asking myself these questions when the talent is there? 

Feelings In Dreams

I had the weirdest dream last night. (I say that almost every time I have a dream I remember.) Anyway, the dream took place at our old house, our first house. It was a turn-of-the-century, two-story house with lots of woodwork and skeleton keys. It had a creaky basement door that I swear opened and shut by itself one day when I was home alone.

In the dream I was sitting in the living room, minding my own business, when a family member burst through the door and demanded that we either let this person - she had by the arm, whom I didn't know - stay with us or she was going to move in with us with her kid that day. We just HAD to let her live with us NOW she demanded.

Random Thought Number 4

A little thing I've learned over the years and especially since I've had kids - Don't get in a hurry. About anything. Being in a big hurry isn't good for anyone. Rushing kids around makes them grumpy and you irritated. Making snap decisions about buying things often gets you into trouble later. Feeling anxiety about getting things done just makes for a tense, worrisome day. Plan ahead as much as possible and take a deep breath. And remind yourself: it'll be okay.

Knitting and Clearing my Head

The majority of my job as wife, mother and keeper of the house is in my head. Which is okay with me because I love to be in my head. I have to think about the grocery list, events on the calendar, what needs to be done next around the house, how to keep the kids entertained, clever ways to distract the kids from fighting, the list goes on and on. I am good at my job and thoroughly enjoy my job, but I always have a lot on my mind. I like to keep my thoughts as organized as possible, although I struggle with this at times. To keep my head clear I have taken up knitting, and it has changed my life.

Me as Writer

So far I have been writing from the view of the sentimental mother. Not today. Today is better than yesterday however. Thank goodness. I was easily irritated and especially hard on myself yesterday. Unfortunately some of the frustration I felt yesterday is spilling over to today.

So I want to be a writer. I always have in one way or another, whether I've recognized it or not. And I am finally doing something about it. That's good. I am trying to keep my thoughts organized and my goals simple and managable. That's good. I have not been overwhelmed at all. That's good. Until yesterday. That's bad. There is so much information out there about writing and becoming a writer. At the same time it is challenging to know in what direction to go exactly. This is where positive Me would jump in and say, "It's just part of the journey." But easily irritated Me is saying, "What the hell! Will somebody just tell me what to do next?"

Enjoying Preschool Life in the Fall

I love back to school time in the fall. I always have. I look forward to everything about it. I love getting supplies, new clothes and class schedules, just everything. My almost 3 year-old, Jude, started preschool yesterday. He has been waiting to go to "Sissy's school" for almost a year now. We would drop Sissy off last year and he would run right into the gym with the other kids and pick up a ball. Come time to leave, he would trail behind me to the car, heavy-footed and sad-faced. "Next year I get to go to Sissy's school," he would say; as if he even knew what "next year" really meant.

Random Thought Number 3

I'm working on my resume for writing jobs. Mommy-mush-brain kicking in again. Having a hard time remembering things that I did back in the day. We've moved and had kids and on and on. Going back in work history ten years? Hmmm...that was many moons ago.

Random Thought Number 2

Ace

Lucy

Sometimes I look at my Boston Terriers and wonder what they must think of all this madness. They are silent observers, taking it all in, when the're not sleeping of course. The only time they react to anything is when they are visibly irritated at the kids for waking them up to play. If they're already awake, they may be subjected to being dragged along by the collar or getting dressed up in doll clothes, occasionally looking over at me with their big, pitiful eyes.

Taking Risks

So I've started this blog and I'm putting myself out there, wholeheartedly. And it's a little scary. It's a risk, but it's what I want to do. It is something I feel like I need to do. But it's not the first time I've pushed myself to go out on a  limb. My mommy-mush-brain is trying to recall some times when I've been brave and taken some risks. As I remember some of the interesting and impressive things I have done in the past I think, "Oh yeah, I've done that and that. Wow. Go me." But I have also noticed this pattern. I go from being super brave and confident to "oh, I could never do that" and back and forth. What is that about? Is that how it is for everyone? Now I feel as if I've been so wrapped up in mommy-mode that it's even harder to pull myself over to the point of confidence. I guess I get settled in a routine for a while then start to have periods of restlessness.

Random Thought Number 1

A fellow mother of two called me a warrior the other day for choosing to have a third child. My first thought was, "Thank you!" and then second, "Somebody noticed!" Not as in no one can tell that I am pregnant, because that's definitely not the case. But it was quite a complement to have someone recognize what a big deal it is to add to a family.

Intro to the Many Facets of Me (and the purpose of this blog)

I have many different sides, different facets. For the most part, at this time in my life I jump from the mother facet, to the wife one, back to the mother, to the housekeeper (okay not really that one as much as I should) and then occasionally I put a toe or two on the artist facet. I like the artist facet. It just requires so much concentration and effort. So I keep the artist, my creative side, quietly waiting in the background. Waiting for more time or maybe just a better outlet. I've been trying to come up with an outlet that is all-encompassing, right, one that I can spend small amounts of broken time on, that I enjoy and look forward to doing. But also one that has some earning potential. Everyone wants to do that thing that they love, and now that I am a mother, I have the need to find that thing and also balance family life. I have done the away-from-home job. It was okay for a while. I felt like I was wasting a lot of great moments I could be spending with my kids and running the household. But I can't just hang out at home all the time either. I need projects and goals and new ideas. So in comes the idea for this blog, well, after a year of thinking and planning and changing my mind anyway. My bucket list has always included writing a book. In high school I was on the yearbook staff and took creative writing classes. I majored in public relations in college, plenty of writing there. So this writing bug has always been there. Even now, I have pages and pages of ideas for books and articles. I could write all day. But in reality, I only have small amounts of time throughout the day when I am uninterrupted. Although, if I was not interrupted with precious and priceless moments with my family, I may not have as much to write about. As I write, naptime is coming to an end. It will once again be time to laugh hysterically in the pool with my 2 year-old son or watch my 4 year-old daughter follow a butterfly around the yard in hopes of catching it. I am blessed to be able to be here for these moments. I am excited to share these moments in my writing. I believe this might be the way I can bring everything together and be able to jump over to the artist facet a little more often. And feel a little more complete in the process.